Leaving someone you still love is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. It's the emotional equivalent of lifting a piano with your bare hands. Yet, if you are in a dysfunctional relationship, you simply must follow your head and not your heart.
Instructions
1. Leave your partner if he has a fatal flaw. For example, if he has been emotionally or physically abusive, unable to break a drug or alcohol addiction (and refuses help), or cannot be faithful to you, then you must walk away.
2. List her bad qualities, forget the good. You must focus on all her bad traits if you want to have the strength to pull this off. You still love her, so it will be difficult when she once again implores you to forgive her for hitting you, cheating on you or wrecking the car when she was drunk, for example.
3. Gather your friends. Your friends are your best resource to see you through this. Siblings may also be helpful, but in general, family relationships are so complicated that you can't necessarily count on brothers, sisters and parents to fully understand why you are leaving your husband or running away from your fiancee. Families have agendas; friends always have your best interest at heart.
4. Think quick and clean--like pulling off the proverbial bandage. It's always the best way. No one wants to get dumped. Don't try for a long, drawn-out romantic weekend in the Bahamas. What's the point of stretching out all the hurt when you know what's coming?
5. Allow the pain to flow. There will be tears--your partner's and yours. There may be screams, accusations, thrown pillows, ripped bank receipts or bashed-in garage doors. Allow the pain to flow, but don't allow yourself to be abused. Once the breakup is over, feel what you need to feel and no more. Do not allow the other person to contact you unless there are kids or property issues involved. If you are in business with that person, seriously consider ending the business arrangement.
6. Kiss and say goodbye. After the hours of crying and wretching about all you were and could have been, let go. Give your lover a kiss and say goodbye--for good. Repeat romances--though common--are unhealthy and rarely work. Thus, when you let your partner go, hug him like it will be the last time and wish him what we all wish: a happy life.
Tags: Allow pain, Allow pain flow, pain flow, still love, your best, your partner