Thursday, 12 March 2015

Forgive & Love Again

Forgive and find love again.


Love hurts is a common saying for a reason. People who you're emotionally attached to are more able to injure you than people whose opinions don't matter to you. When someone you love hurts you, whether they've cheated, lied or simply made a decision you can't accept, you have two choices. You can choose to accept what they did and move on, or you can accept what they did, forgive them and find a way to love them again. If the relationship you have with that person is worth trying to repair, then it's worth at least an attempt to forgive them and love them again.


Instructions


1. Spend time thinking about what happened. You can't begin to forgive until you process the event that caused the hurt. Talk to your close friends. Talk to a counselor if you have to. Tell yourself that it is okay to forgive the person who hurt you. Your relationship with that person is something that can only be built between the two of you.


2. Write down your feelings in a letter to that person and seal it. Wait a week, then open it and read your thoughts. Try to see how the other person would respond to it. Make notes of your thoughts about the letter. Destroy it after you've finished reading and writing about what happened.


3. Talk to the person who hurt you about how he is willing to rebuild trust in the relationship. If a lie caused the hurt, for example, perhaps he would be more forthcoming about his after-work activities. Find ways to keep the bad event from occurring again. Give him new chances to earn your trust.


4. Write a list of reasons explaining why you want to forgive the person. Write a list of reasons why you love the person. Read the list when you're frustrated with him. Write a list of things that scare you about reconciling with the person you love. Share the list with him and discuss together address those concerns.


5. Take your time. Trust can only be rebuilt when new, positive actions replace old, negative ones. Allow the person opportunities to win your trust back. Don't rehash the past in new arguments, because when you forgive someone you make the choice to be free of the past. Continue spending time with him and don't close yourself off to your feelings. You've decided to forgive and love again because your relationship with that person is worth it.

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